3 year ago today, Mike and I got the worst news of our lives. It was my 31st birthday and I remember that day like it was yesterday. The weather was perfect. Michael was perfect (well, he still is but you know what I mean). Our day started like any other – Mike had to work so I got Michael up and we ate breakfast together, played, etc. When Mike got home, I met my mom and my Aunt Susie to play some tennis. We went out to lunch then I came home to relax and hang out with my boys. That afternoon, I got a call from his neurologist. At first, I was glad to receive his call. I was like, “finally we can figure out what is going on so we can help Michael learn to walk!” I obviously had no idea that he was calling with devastating news….The rest of that day was spent in tears. We called our families and told them the news. We held Michael so tight that day and just cried and cried….
Here it is 3 years later – my birthday and the anniversary of Michael’s diagnosis. It is hard to put into words what the last three years have been like. Through the immense amount of pain and struggle, there has been so much love to balance it out. I don’t know how else to describe it. The support from everyone around us (and even people very far away) as well as the intense amount of joy that Michael brings us, is what has helped us keep it together.
Michael has officially been sick longer than he has been healthy. This way of life seems normal to us now. As long as I stay in the moment and don’t think about what used to be or what will be, I’m okay. When I watch old videos or look at old pictures, or think about life without him, I am very quickly overtaken with sadness. So today, on this stupid anniversary, I will stay in the moment. I will spend my morning with Michael, I will play some tennis, get a massage, spend the afternoon with my boys and then, go out to dinner with my girlfriends. Today will be a day like any other. I will not dwell on the sadness of this day. But as all of the “Happy Birthday” messages come in, I can’t help but think, “Happy??? Birthday to me….”
There really is only one thing that I want for my birthday but since I can’t have that, I’m asking that all of you please register for the Miles for Mikey 5k and Fun Run. You don’t have to run but it is so important to Mike and I to create memories and honor Michael. The more support we have, the easier this is on us. So please take a moment to click on this link and register. Thank you.